. a sweet kiss with just your lips is better than a Labrador retriever-
style kiss with your tongue.
style kiss with your tongue.
No one on earth is quite as pleased as a man who has just pleased awoman between the sheets. We love the care and attention you’ve
paid to us for our own benefit, but we also love watching you bask in
self-satisfaction. But as satisfied as you might be with yourself,
sometimes we’re not quite as satisfied as you’d hoped: something
relatively minor, but highly distracting, was a bit “off.”
Don’t be offended, darlíngs, but a few níps and tucks in your bédroom
style might speed things along (in a good way)—leaving us more time
for another go at it!
style might speed things along (in a good way)—leaving us more time
for another go at it!
1. The clítoris is right there. Yes, right there. Not over here, not down
there, not off to the side. It doesn’t move. Try to stay focused and
play with the clít!
there, not off to the side. It doesn’t move. Try to stay focused and
play with the clít!
2. Take your socks off. Not a single thing is séxy about a man who is
nakéd except for his socks.
nakéd except for his socks.
3. Lubrícant, lubrícant, lubrícant. We may feel “so wét” to you from
our own fluíds, but we actually need to be pretty drenched with water-
based lube for business time.
our own fluíds, but we actually need to be pretty drenched with water-
based lube for business time.
4. Talk dírty to me. Some women become very arouséd by their
imaginations, so a little dírty talk about what you’re going to do to us
stimulatés our biggest séx órgan: our brain! (But avoíd these 36 words
that kill the moment.)
imaginations, so a little dírty talk about what you’re going to do to us
stimulatés our biggest séx órgan: our brain! (But avoíd these 36 words
that kill the moment.)
5. Get it wet. If you’re going down on us, make sure to keep your
tongué wet with spít. A dry tongue chafés down there!
tongué wet with spít. A dry tongue chafés down there!
6. Watch your hands . Unless we’ve expressly índicated that we like our
headlights to be twéaked, do not pinch our nípples in the heat of the
moment. They’re very, very sensitíve!
headlights to be twéaked, do not pinch our nípples in the heat of the
moment. They’re very, very sensitíve!
7. Sometimes a light touch is better than a strong one. And a sweet
kíss with just your lips is better than a Labrador retriever-style kíss
with your tongue.
kíss with just your lips is better than a Labrador retriever-style kíss
with your tongue.
8. Nibble away. We absolutely adore when you gently, tenderly suckle
on our fingers (or our toes, for men with mouths of asbestos).
on our fingers (or our toes, for men with mouths of asbestos).
9. Stop stressin’ . That look of concentration on your face makes it
seem like you’re doing calculations in your head, not making love.
Smile a little bit, why don’t you?
seem like you’re doing calculations in your head, not making love.
Smile a little bit, why don’t you?
10. Don’t forget the títs. Nipplés should be a pit stop on the way to
Vagínavílle—get off the express traín!
Vagínavílle—get off the express traín!
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